literature

The Cabin [Red, Red Rust]

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DeathbySkittlez's avatar
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Literature Text

All the dirt and the rust of life grows quickly enough four you to watch, if only you'd stand still.
Time holds no power here amongst collections of dusty memories.
The embryo lays hidden:
An unborn child in the placenta of the red, red rust.
The fear of his last moments remain imprinted in the floorboards;
The ghosts of his emotions are left to haunt you.
The crackling rage roars as the flames consume the fear and the hurt of the red, red rust.

If a cabin burns in an empty forest and no one notices,
Will you still be able to find the Ashes?
I wrote this when I was watching some old campy horror movies where it seems like everything goes wrong at camp/in a cabin. So the idea came to me. In my mind I thought of a man who goes insane and murders his pregnant wife/lover in an old cabin (kinda "The Shining"-esque, I guess) before burning the place to the ground. Upon reading it, my friend said she imagined some horrific sci-fi scene in which the house was coming to life and the rust was helping it murder/feed on those inside it before it burned.

Originally, "Ashes" was not capitalized. However, my phone auto-corrected it to be that way and I thought that not only could it represent the ashes of the cabin but also those who were trapped inside.

I guess this means whatever you want it to mean. :) To each their own.
© 2013 - 2024 DeathbySkittlez
Comments3
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LostPoetB24's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

This piece is very well put together in the visuals but I feel it is almost too short. You just started to visualize a certain aspect only to cut the reader off

I do love how this almost makes the rust feel like blood or some kind of life force. Like without the Rust nothing would exist.

I also enjoy as it ends you are left to question the poem, if the house did burn did the rust as well or will the wind carry it to someplace new. You have to wonder if the poem is ending or just starting at this point in time.